we give in

Now That They’re Illegal, Hoverboards Might Finally Be Considered Cool

Even Wiz Khalifa can't make this cool.
Even Wiz Khalifa can’t make this cool.

While the world is acclimating to the presence of hoverboards, the following opinions have emerged surrounding their existence: They don’t hover (they don’t hover!), they render grown men totally unfuckable, they’re exclusively for cool teens. Also there’s a loose association with Justin Bieber and any song from Purpose.

However, now that the NYPD tweeted, “the electric #hoverboard illegal NYC Admin. Code 19-176.2,” the lame tides are beginning to turn — because once you outlaw something, it immediately becomes at least a little cooler, even if it’s the signature accessory of today’s manbaby.

Now that those handleless Segways are outside the law, those who ride them — be they Midtown bros zooming out of Señor Frogs or finance wieners cruising to post-work squash in their Brooks Brothers suits — may be entitled to some level of sexy/cool status, instead of the deserved douche card. We may find ourselves eyeing a hoverboarder with the same craven lust once reserved for the skater boi, or worse, thinking to ourselves, God, I’d rather date that dangerous, rebellious man on his illegal hoverboard than a loser with a totally legal Ducati.

Thanks a lot, NYPD. Thanks a lot.

Hoverboards Might Finally Be Considered Cool