cowards

21 Percent of Justin Bieber Fans Are Liars

Tell the truth.
Tell the truth. Photo: VALERY HACHE/AFP/Getty Images

In Justin Bieber’s song “Confident” he sings, “Don’t do it to me. Oh, no, no, oh, no, no. Don’t do it to me. Oh, no, no, oh, no, no.” Is he singing about how he would like you to stop openly lying about being a Justin Bieber fan? No — he is singing about, as far as I can tell, a woman tempting him with her sexuality. But could he be singing about how he would like you to stop openly lying about being a Justin Bieber fan? Yes. Because you are a liar, as it turns out.

According to a new study by the scientists at ticketing company Ticketbis, Justin Bieber gained a 10 percent increase in U.K. fans over the past two years. But, even though he’s seen an uptick in popularity, 21 percent of his fans say they would never publicly admit to liking him.

Twenty-one percent. Cowards. Recreant imps. Untrustworthy participants of this groundbreaking Justin Bieber study.

Southampton claims the largest percentage of craven Bieber fans, with 33 percent admitting they would not openly cop to their fandom. Thirty-three percent telling you they would lie right to your face; 33 percent too unsure of their own taste to declare openly: “I like when ‘Sorry’ comes on the radio.”

Liverpool, where the Beatles are from, is the U.K. city with the lowest percentage of liars: 19 percent. Something about which the Beatles might say, “Tell me why you cried, and why you lied to me.”

The reason: Because you like Justin Bieber and are a coward.

Let’s hope Justin Bieber fans resolve to be a little braver — and a little more honest — in the New Year.