New York City’s Department of Health has released
A list not not about names in the least
The top baby names of 2014
Found below in a poem. Enjoy them, you bean.
Emma, the fifth-most-popular name
A Jane Austen novel, a four-letter flame
The inspiration for Clueless, were you aware?
Emma, I mean. Sit down in a chair.
Mia and Olivia, numbers four and three
After Mia Farrow and Olivia (the book)? Beats me.
A Mia you’ll ask, on a date far away
“Your name was popular in 2014, but how are you today?”
Isabella, Isabella, the penultimate fella
Did you forget to bring your umbrella?
You wouldn’t want to get wet in a storm.
Get on home now and try to stay warm.
Finally we’ve reached the number one name
Can you guess what it is? Make it a game?
Okay, I’ll just tell you: The name is Sophia.
Sophia, Sophia, Sophia, Sophia
Boys also had names that were popular last year
Number one was Ethan — that seems like enough.