listen to me gigi

Unsolicited Advice for Gigi Hadid Regarding Zayn Malik

Don't do it, Gigi Hadid.
Don’t do it, Gigi Hadid.

Gigi Hadid, we do not know each other. I don’t know anything about you, in fact, and I’m almost certain you know nothing about me unless you are a secret fan, in which case I am flattered. However, I heard you were “apartment hunting” in New York City with former One Direction member and graffiti enthusiast Zayn Malik, whom you have been dating for a very short amount of time. I would like to give you some advice about that.

Don’t do it, Gigi Hadid.

Gigi Hadid, you have your whole life ahead of you. A Google search tells me you are 20 years old. The search also shows me that you have nice hair, a nice face, and nice lips. (This isn’t to discount the possibility that you also have a nice brain, but a fact like that is unavailable to me through a simple Google search.)

Why “visit apartments available for rent” in “a SoHo neighborhood” now, according to E!, with Zayn Malik, when you can “visit apartments available for rent” in “a SoHo neighborhood” much later, with just yourself, or with someone you love? Or with — if you must — an older Zayn Malik?

Chill out. You have a lot of time to share your living space with a former member of One Direction. For now, enjoy your own space. Spread out. Leave things where you want them and later come home to find them right there — undisturbed. Look around and know that, ah, yes, at last, this apartment in a Soho neighborhood is all mine — I don’t share it with Zayn Malik at all.

Just my two cents for you, Gigi Hadid.

Love,

Kelly

Advice for Gigi Hadid Regarding Zayn Malik