Like a fun extra-credit project assigned in fashion school, 50 designers worked with the CFDA to overhaul the traditional American pigskin in celebration of the forthcoming Mega Beyoncé Concert Featuring Coldplay (just joshing — it’s the 50th Super Bowl). The results, mais bien sur, are wonderful, dumb, and delightful: 50 footballs one could never throw, pass, or spike, but that could definitely take up a spot on your mantle without anyone knowing you secretly and embarrassingly root for the 49ers. Your houseguests will just believe you are a fan of the finer things in life.
The footballs are up for auction from now until February 14, with all proceeds going to the NFL Foundation. But we must ask that if you manage to get your hands on one of these magnificent bespoke footballs, do not play with it. You will hurt yourself.