Stop embarrassing Malia and Sasha.
As the end of his term grows ever-near, President Obama has not only taken to giving fewer fucks about people’s opinions of his policy decisions, but he’s also joined Michelle in an effort to just go all-out on embarrassing Sasha and Malia. On Thursday the First Couple appeared on The Ellen Show — the president in person, and the First Lady via video — to discuss their Valentine’s Day plans. It was a mortifying mush-fest, the likes of which you haven’t seen since your parents stopped loving each other so many moons ago.
Michelle even wrote the president a little poem:
“Roses are red, violets are blue,
you are the president and I am your boo.”
But perhaps because they are already so immune to their parents’ awkward behavior, President Obama had to step it up a notch to really humiliate Sasha and Malia. According to People:
“Somebody call the situation room because things are about to get hot. Michelle, this Valentine’s Day, I’m going to treat you right. I’m going to make you some zucchini bread. Then I’ll spread out some veggies on a plate, just the way you like them. Then I’m going to give you a massage while you watch … Ellen’s Design Challenge on HGTV,” he said, looking confused as he apparently read from a teleprompter. “Because I love you so much, I Obamacare about you more than you even know. That’s right, Obama cares!”
Don’t worry, Malia. You’ll be out of there soon enough.