Gigi Wants You to Know Where She Came From

Yeezy taught me.
Yeezy taught me. Photo: Raymond Hall/Getty Images

Gigi Hadid — young, tall, blonde person with perfect skin, so what I don’t care — is everywhere these days. Look out your window: She’s there. At the DMV? She’s there. Reading a poem at your cousin’s bar mitzvah? I saw her. It’s no wonder, then, that Gigi needs to tell all fans and skeptics alike where she came from. God created Gigi. That’s why she appears to be in so many places at once, and also why she can eat 52 burgers in a year and still look like that. She must be blessed.