happy birthday sweet prince

Happy Birthday, Ed Sheeran, You Mysterious Ginger Prince

Big smiles for Ed Sheeran, the birthday boy!
Big smiles for Ed Sheeran, the birthday boy! Photo: D Dipasupil/Getty Images

Breaking news! Today is Ed Sheeran’s birthday. For anyone who is not part of Generation Z, let me tell you everything I know about Ed Sheeran: He’s a singer, and could possibly be a songwriter as well. He has red hair, and is from England so he has an accent. His music is popular although I do not believe I have ever heard it. He’s close friends with Taylor Swift.

This appears to be a normal photo, but you must dig deeper Photo: letsstalked/Instagram

In any case, Ed, I apologize for knowing little about you, especially on such a special day. Truth be told, I don’t have the emotional energy to know any more about you. There are simply too many famouses for me to handle. Plus, you’re not my type and although I’ve never heard it, I bet your music sounds generic. But you’re rich and famous and you look like an okay guy. Happy 24th! Stay safe and keep on doing whatever you do!

Happy Birthday, Ed Sheeran, Whoever You Are