How to Unbox Your New Boyfriend

If you’re tired of mindlessly rejecting losers on Tinder, look no further, for the newest iBoyfriend is on the market. With a longer battery life than previous models, he can survive even the most arduous of tasks, like — ugh — listening to your stories. These ladies even snagged one with the “white male privilege app, which ensures he never gets pulled over.” Well, lucky them.