no hassles

Man So Evolved He’s Post–Cell Phone

His point of view is about as archaic as a beeper. Image: Peter Glass/First Light/Corbis
His point of view is about as archaic as a beeper. Image: Peter Glass/First Light/Corbis

Tuesday, Alan Levinovitz published a post on Vox about his cell-phone-free life. In it, Levinovitz says he “just doesn’t want a cell phone, the same way some people don’t want a gaming system.”

Hmm, it seems there’s a problem with this piece from the start: Having a phone isn’t a choice for people who aren’t this privileged dude (e.g., people who need to be vigilant for fear of their own safety, anyone with any urgent emergency or business).

Levinovitz does mention his family — that people ask how he could take care of his child and keep in touch with his wife sans phone. But he says he doesn’t miss having a phone; well, maybe only when he envies people with smartphones on the plane:

“There are moments that throw my choice into sharp relief, but not the emergencies or inconveniences that people imagine. Rather, the airplane pilot makes an announcement, the subway doors open, and poof! — all around me smartphones bloom in perfect unison, a fleeting garden in which I am oddly barren.”

And this man’s biggest worry is that he’s going to get lost, which is really only a minor concern. Plus, if he is, he can just ask a stranger! Strangers are always nice and a safe bet, right?!

“I’m rarely lost, for instance, and never for long. I look up directions at home and memorize them or write them down. Occasionally I ask strangers to guide me. “

He’s not worried about being armed without an emergency app, should someone follow or harass him based on his identity. He can just wander the streets carefree. The world is his! All the creeps and weirdos will leave him alone, because he’s invincible! He, is, after all, a white man with no worries. And no cell phone.