ever since i left the city you started drinking less and working out more

Tragically Uncool Millennials Prefer Exercising to Drinking

Millennials, millennial-ing.
Millennials, millennial-ing. Photo: Matthias Drobeck/Corbis

A horrifying study conducted in the U.K. found that millennials are cartwheeling their way into “real” adulthood far too quickly. The Guardian reports that less than half of youths 16 to 24 report drinking in the last week. The reason why? While some speculate that it’s because of crippling debt or being giant nerds, another study suggests millennials are drinking less for a far more horrifying reason: They’re concerned with … wait for it … their health! Ew.

And even when the cool kids are drinking, they’re turning to the healthiest alcoholic beverage: wine.

Fellow millennials: You’re a disappointment. Ah well, more Champagne for the rest of us.

Millennials Are Drinking Less for Their Health