One of the great benefits of the Internet is the ease and affordability of sending strange, highly specific things to your friends, enemies, and lovers, from a vengeful rain of glitter to bags of gummy penises. Now you can add eggplants to that list. While #eggplantfriday might be dead on Instagram, you can still share some vegetable love with your lovers.
Eggplant Mail is not subtle about their product. “Want to send someone a real life penis emoji?” their homepage asks. For the low price of about ten dollars, they promise to send a real eggplant to anyone, anywhere in the world, inscribed in silver pen with a message of your choosing.
While these eggplant surprises aren’t edible (paint and shipping aren’t particularly sanitary), Eggplant Mail promises that their packages are “100% Phallic. 100% Anonymous. 100% Disturbing.” That might be true, but they’re still probably less disturbing than a surprise cockshot from that dude you matched with on Tinder.