Today in my inbox, I came upon an email announcing the premiere of the trailer for a new movie titled The Trust. Yes, I said the premiere of the trailer. What is The Trust? Oh, hark, it’s a forthcoming movie starring two men: Nicolas Cage and Elijah Wood!
I considered putting the trailer into this blog post for you, so that you too could enjoy the premiere of this trailer. But then I realized: You’ve basically seen this movie. In fact you’ve seen this movie a hundred times. I will save you 2:21 seconds of watching Nicolas Cage and Elijah Wood acting like two hapless, corrupt cops within a police department. Just imagine Training Day, but replace Denzel with two white guys. Did you see Ocean’s 11 (or 12)? Then imagine that, subtract nine white guys, take away all of the glamour and charm, remove Julia Roberts, and then you’ve got this movie. Did you see Paul Blart: Mall Cop? Okay, then summon up that memory and inject a very “Nicolas Cage–y” Nicolas Cage performance — you know, holding guns and yelling macho things like: “We’re in the heart of the American dream!” (which, incidentally, makes no sense). So if you’ve seen Face/Off or Bad Lieutenant or National Treasure or National Treasure: Book of Secrets or Gone in Sixty Seconds, just recall Cage in all those movies, add a mustache, and then you’ve basically seen The Trust.
Anyway, it will screen at this year’s South by Southwest. It will probably be a standout, as cop movies starring two white gentlemen, made by two white gentlemen, usually are. Happy International Women’s Day!