from the muddy banks of the uncanny valley

An Engineer Built a Lifelike Scarlett Johansson Robot, In Case You Were Looking for a Final Reason for Humanity to Drive Itself Into the Sea

See, that’s real the downside of fame. On one hand, you are afforded unimaginable wealth, esteem, privilege, and free things from designers as if you need them. On the other hand, someone you don’t know might make a robot that looks exactly like you. Engineer Ricky Ma says he spent 18 months crafting his Mark 1 robot, which is — hm, yes, one sec, let me double check, ah, yes — exactly the time amount of time you’ll spend scrubbing your skin raw with steaming hot water and lye after looking at its horrible synthetic visage. Ma admits he designed the $50,000 Mark 1 to look like Scarlett Johannson. Just like a real human woman, Mark 1 can wink, smile, and say thank you when told she is beautiful. As you will note, Ma has also dressed his creation in a crop top, and its hands are terrible skeleton hands. The only thing missing from this shockingly lifelike replica of Scarlett Johansson? The ability to summon a cleansing fire to wipe the stain of humanity off the face of God’s good green earth.

An Engineer Built a Scarlett Johansson Robot, Hm