Game of Thrones is always objectifying its female characters. Here is where we objectify the men right back. For the rest of the season, we’ll be celebrating some of the show’s most under-the-radar hotties, because Jon Snow isn’t the only man in the Seven Kingdoms worth lusting after.
Look, it’s about time somebody just came out and said it: Jorah Mormont is sexy, and you should not be ashamed if you feel that way.
I mean, sure, he’s a former slave owner in his mid-50s (Right? How old is anyone on this show?) lusting after the very young queen he sold out to her enemies. But when it comes to finding crush objects on Game of Thrones, there will inevitably be some moral compromises. And I have a sense that I’m not the only woman who finds the scruffy, sandy-haired outlaw of Essos somewhat beguiling.
In a show full of lone wolves, Jorah is among the loneliest. Exiled from Westeros, banished twice by Daenerys (thrice, if you count his permanent banishment to the friend zone), and now sent off once again to go WebMD himself to safety, Jorah has all the trappings of a tragic antihero. And yet there’s something so appealing about knowing that such a tender heart lies entombed in that tough shell of his.
Is Jorah’s affection for Daenerys creepy? Sure. Is it also, in a doomed and tragic way, wildly romantic? I would say so. Last night in particular, I was struck by how pure his affection seems. There they are, alone on some godforsaken rock: Daenerys, her younger and hunkier boyfriend, and the cursed adviser who has always loved her, finally putting it all on the line. “Tyrion was right … I love you,” said the gravelly voiced swordsman, averting his eyes. “I’ll always love you. Good-bye, Khaleesi.” Ugh.
I know that a lot of people make fun of Jorah for being, to quote a meme, “Ser Jorah Mormont of House Friendzone.” I know the way he views Dany is problematic, to say the least. But in a show full of backstabbing and double-dealing, his character arc is so straightforward that it takes on a certain power. He’s content to worship Dany from afar knowing exactly how doomed he is, and while I don’t want to see the two of them get married and raise dragons together, I’m still moved by the persistence of his love.
Also, look at him. With Tywin and Stannis out of the picture, there aren’t a lot of options left for women who prefer dudes with gravitas, but Jorah has totally nailed the rugged outlaw look (shades of young Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, am I right?). Plus, I’d listen to almost anything explained in that husky voice of his. Can we consider giving Iain Glen an NPR show, or perhaps having him narrate car ads?
We Game of Thrones viewers have been through a lot — including the tragic deaths of uncontroversial hotties like Oberyn Martell and Robb Stark — and there seems to be more tragedy in sight. So if there’s a guy in the Seven Kingdoms who still floats your boat, cling to that. You deserve it.