Trust Bronn, our Game of Thrones drinking buddy, to point out the obvious. After old pals Jaime and Brienne head off to parlay in a tent on last night’s episode, Bronn turns to Pod and asks slyly: “Do you think they’re fucking?”
“Why not!?” Bronn exclaims when Pod demurs. “I’d fuck her. You’d fuck her, wouldn’t you? He’d fuck her, that’s for sure. And she’d fuck him, don’t you think — the way she looks at him?” Plus: “You’re the one with the magic cock, you must have shown it to her by now.”
While we’re pretty tired of hearing the sundry men of Westeros nattering about all the things they want to put their cocks in, we’ve got to hand it to Bronn for finally saying what what we non-Westerosi have known all along: Brienne of Tarth is easily the most eligible woman in Seven Kingdoms.
To be fair, Brienne has always had a lot of guy friends. This is partly because Brienne travels a lot (to quote Ludacris, she’s got hoes in different area codes), and because she occupies a role outside the oppressive strictures of Westerosi patriarchy. But it’s only this season that the show seems to be taking the subtext and putting it out in the open. A few weeks ago, Brienne caught the eye of scruffy wildling Tormund Giantsbane, giving birth to an army of Tormund/Brienne shippers so numerous they could easily take Winterfell and be back before lunchtime.
And last night, we got the reunion we’d long been waiting for, as the show’s ultimate odd-couple Jaime and Brienne finally came face-to-face in a tent outside Riverrun. Fans have been shipping Jaime and Brienne for a long time, but last night — as they gazed at each other longingly inside the tent and, later, across the castle walls — never has their coupling seem both so fated and so doomed. As Nikolaj Coster Waldau recently told Vulture: “It’s that thing when two people are attracted to each other but they refuse to acknowledge that whole elephant in the room, and for everyone else around them it’s pretty obvious.”
Yes, it’s pretty obvious. We’re just glad the men of Westeros are finally paying attention.