2016 olympics

Gisele Bündchen Wins Gold in the Long-Distance Catwalk

On the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah.
On the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah. Photo: Ezra Shaw/2016 Getty Images

Sure, the Olympics celebrate all of our common humanity, but mostly they’re about people who are better than you at things: running, swimming, or, in the case of Gisele Bündchen, being stunning for extended periods of time. Gisele appeared midway through the opening ceremony of the Rio Olympics to strut down a 500-foot runway to the tune of “The Girl From Ipanema,” as performed by Daniel Jobim, grandson of the song’s writer, Tom Jobim.

To be fair, Gisele is good at walking. Like, too good at walking. Someone should pay her to walk places. Maybe in nice clothes. Could be a good idea for a career?

Later, Gisele danced in the crowd. That was it. That was Gisele’s job at the Olympics: walking, and then having fun at a party. We think she deserves a gold medal in being Gisele.

Tom Brady, according to People, is at home in Boston, training with the Patriots. Sorry to disappoint those hoping to see him in the crowd (looking at you, Ben Affleck).

Gisele Bündchen Wins Gold in Catwalking