one neverending pasta bowl please

Further Proof That the Solution to All Life’s Problems Is Eating a Lot of Carbs

Photo: Courtesy of Facebook/Questura di Roma

One of the top-ten most Italian stories to have ever occurred is going viral after the Roman police headquarters posted the emotional tale to their Facebook account.

The prose in the post is incredibly flowery (I would expect nothing less), so, to summarize, police officers showed up to an elderly couple’s apartment after neighbors reported hearing crying. They found that the 94-year-old man, Jole, and his 89-year-old wife, Michele, were in tears because they were overwhelmed by all the terrible news on their television (same) and incredibly lonely. (“Sometimes the loneliness melts into tears. Sometimes it’s like a summer storm. It comes suddenly and overtakes you.”)

So the police officers went through the couple’s cabinet and cooked them an improvised dinner of pasta, butter, and cheese. “Nothing in particular,” the post read. “But with a precious ingredient: Their humanity.”

And with this touching story, comes two crucial life lessons: Loneliness is an integral part of the human condition, and eating a ton of carbs is pretty much always the best way to deal with that crushing truth.

The Solution to All Life’s Problems Is Pasta