Michael Phelps’s Medals Weigh More Than His Son

Photo: MARTIN BUREAU/AFP/Getty Images

Let’s talk about all the gold, silver, and bronze that Michael Phelps has in the form of Olympic medals. The man arrived at this year’s Rio Olympics with an established number of wins at prior games and plenty of Olympic glory to uphold. He’s leaving this Olympics with plenty more glory — another five gold medals and one silver in swimming.

Which means that Phelps now has a record 28 Olympic medals in total. (Let that sink in — 28!) And, a record number of gold Olympic medals. Now, all that gold (or, what’s actually mostly silver) presumably weighs quite a bit.

Actually, it weighs more than his firstborn son.

Baby Boomer Phelps, who has already had his first swimming lessons, and who has been cheering for his dad at the Olympics (to the extent a months-old-baby can), weighs exactly what you’d think an infant would — probably less than 20 lbs.

Which means that, if Phelps ever gathered together the medals he’s won over the course of three Olympics, they’d be heavier than Baby Boomer. After all, “Boomer’s probably 16 or 17 pounds,” Phelps told E! News.

So there you have it, people. In one fell swoop, Phelps reminded us of how small infants are. And, of course, he reminded us of how much Olympic bling he has stashed away at home. Or, you know, somewhere in a secret spot unbeknownst to many, because the man also simply won’t say where.