For all the neuroses and hang-ups I have, being naked is shockingly not one of them. I picked up the phrase “bodies are just bodies!” from a friend and have been known to cheerfully exclaim it like I’m some sort of goddang elderly nudist living out the rest of her days in a sweaty, laid-back colony. But Dating Naked profoundly changed me.
For those unaware of the premise, the reality show Dating Naked is exactly what it sounds like: Various people go on dates, while naked, in the hopes of finding true love, or at least a future Instagram sponsorship with a detox-tea brand. On September 14, it will complete its third glorious season in Bora Bora, during which leads Natalie and David will reveal whom they’ve paired off with.
The nudity on Dating Naked isn’t as uncomfortable as the dating aspect. A good date usually means the opportunity to eat something delicious and talk about yourself. But 12 episodes of naked people at dinner does not a reality show make, and so Dating Naked consists of many, many activity-based dates. There is dancing. There is soccer. There is a decidedly bawdy spin on croquet. And I salute the producers for finding at least four different ways to repackage snorkeling.
In order for a date on this season of Dating Naked to count toward my comfortability rankings, it had to consist of some sort of activity — for instance, drinking and crying while naked does not a date make (because who among us has not?). And so, here are the dates ranked from most to least comfortable. I may never recover from all that dancing.