Emailing with your future freshman roommate is usually a straightforward experience meant to coordinate logistics — “I can bring a microwave and my mom said she’d give me some extra Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons :)” — before the move. It’s also a chance to be as friendly as possible because you’ll be sharing a 12-by-19-foot space with another human for a year and it’s only a matter of time before you hate them anyway. Winnie Chen, an incoming freshman at UCLA, shared an email from her future roommate that ignores the latter rule, and, in doing so, it joins the pantheon of great, deranged college-girl emails.
Chen posted a screen-grab of the email she says was sent to her and her other roommate, Guistinna Tun, which has since gone viral. In it, the future roommate is more dramatic about bunk beds than anyone has ever been in the entire history of humanity.
Okay so I’m not sure why neither of you responded back to my emails, but I don’t really care just as long as you both know this and understand that I’m not gonna settle for anything less than what I’m gonna tell you that I’m gonna get once I arrive in the dorm. I’ll take the top bunk of the bunk bed that has a bottom and top bunk. I DO NOT want the single bunk where it has a desk underneath the top bunk so don’t try to leave me that. I’m also taking one of the white closets. There should be two white closets and I’m taking one of them. I don’t care for which one it is, just know I’m taking one of them.
I want the desk that’s near the window. Plain and simple. I don’t care about who gets the bottom bunk but just know what I stated above is what I’m expecting once I arrive at the dorm and I won’t be in the mood for any arguing or other nonsense because of you two decided to deliberately disregard this email. If needed be I’ll turn it into a bigger situation so don’t try me.
Sorry but not that sorry for the attitude. I don’t like being ignored because that’s just rude but that’s what you both decided to do so I decided to make it clear now the kind of person I am and what I will and will not take.
So yeah, I don’t mind starting over considering the fact that I don’t get along with people right off the bat because I’m not that much of a people person. So I’m not looking to find other roommates either.
I’m also really chill too. But as you can see from my previous email, I am like a ticking time bomb that sets off when certain things I don’t like happen to me.
The email ends with a sheepish “(lol).” Ah yes. Lol! Lol indeed.