politics

Someone Nominate Mike Flynn for Secretary of Beauty

Mike Flynn with Donald Trump, who just tapped Flynn for his cabinet.

Mike Flynn is best known for his stint as head of the Defense Intelligence Agency, where he openly criticized President Obama, spoke out against Islam, and expressed his support for Russia. But Flynn, whom Donald Trump just tapped to be his national security adviser, has a lesser-known talent: He’s great with beauty and fashion tips.

Under Flynn, the DIA gave a “Dress for Success” presentation that offered some useful ways for female employees to “look more attractive” and “consider [their] body type” when dressing for work. Read on for some of the best tips and tricks from Flynn’s office — because in the Trump administration, if you’re not a ten, you might as well not exist!

On dressing:

• “Determine base color according to skin, hair, and eyes (i.e. brunettes can wear more intense colors than blonds can).”

• “Adapt the latest look to figure and personality.”

• “Nothing should stand out as flamboyant, gaudy, attention-drawing. [A] conservative approach [is] always best.”

• “Consider your body type — accentuate the positive/disguise the negative.”

On makeup:

• “Coordinated makeup communicates that you are moving assertively toward identified goals.”

• “Makeup helps women look more attractive.”

• “Do not advocate the ‘plain Jane’ look.”

• “Too much makeup distracts from a professional look; wear just enough to accentuate your features.”

A few days after the presentation, Flynn backtracked; in an email to the DIA, he wrote, “I’ve now seen it and I too find it highly offensive. Neither the agency nor I condone this briefing … but even smart people do dumb things sometimes.” But hey, maybe his fashion handbook will see new life in the Trump administration.

Someone Nominate Mike Flynn for Secretary of Beauty