A Guided Meditation on the New Pantone Color of the Year

The color green. What does it make you think of? Leaves? Grass? The Philadelphia Phanatic? The Hulk? Money — money you don’t have. Ah. Ooo. Don’t let yourself think about that now. Calm your mind and whisper, Green. That felt good. Do it again. Green. You’re getting there. Mindfulness. Peace. Apple. But not Apple Paltrow. Just a regular apple, one you’d encounter in an orchard. Bite it. Delicious. Crisp. Instagram.

Green. No, I mean — greenery. What does greenery mean to you? What it means to everyone right now is that it is the Pantone Color of the Year. Remember that? Last year, we had rose quartz and serenity — pink and blue, like the colors of babies. But babies are over. No more babies in this world. Too dangerous. Instead, now, we have greenery. What comes to mind when you whisper the word greenery?

Grass. Certainly. Grapes. Of course. Kermit the Frog. Him! Yes, him. The frog is important — every year, last year, next year. Meditate and center your thoughts on the frog. He whispers, “That’s none of my business,” and you say yes. You laugh. You’re in a field, laughing from your belly. Laugh from your belly now. Whisper that’s none of my business. Focus on the term “tea lizard.” You remember that? Laugh again. It is good to laugh. You’re surrounded by idiots.

Matcha. Lots of people are Instagramming about it. Don’t think about those people now. Fiddleheads. Lots of people Instagrammed about that, too. Put those people out of your mind. You know how you feel about them. Shh. You can unfollow them. Greenery. Focus. You’re in a field. You’re at Stonehenge. How did you get here? Nothing. Nowhere. Everyone is far away. No one. Silence. You reach for your phone. Your hands are made of felt, like a puppet. That feels nice.

Aliens. Why do we assume they’re green? Or are they the color of greenery? Imagine. They find you in a field. At Stonehenge. Beam you up. Green. Good-bye. You’re gone. You look down at Earth and you see green. A putting green. A man is golfing. And you are far, far away.

Photo: AFP/AFP/Getty Images
A Guided Meditation on the New Pantone Color of the Year