10 Alternatives to Goop’s Sold-out Vaginal Jade Eggs

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Goop’s sold-out jade egg. Photo: Courtesy of Goop

In this day and age, if you’re looking to spend $60-plus dollars on a rock, you have to act fast.

After Nordstrom’s $85 leather rock pouch flew off the shelves back in December, the public’s insatiable appetite for overpriced minerals has continued apace. Goop’s $66 coveted jade vagina eggs — intended to “increase chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general” — have now also sold out online, despite multiple experts stating unequivocally that you should not put rocks in your vagina.

But if you insist on trying the trend, we’ve compiled some worthy alternatives:*

*Under no circumstances should you actually use these.

10 Alternatives to Goop’s Sold-out Vaginal Jade Eggs