The Worst Thing About Episode 6 of The Young Pope: Heads of State Hotness Contest

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The Young Pope. Photo: HBO

It’s hard to choose which part of HBO’s The Young Pope I dislike most, so in a column called Young Nope, I share the worst thing from that week’s episode.

With six episodes down and only four to go in the first season (yes, there is a second coming) of The Young Pope, I have found myself in a specific kind of predicament: Do I actually love — not detest — The Young Pope? My only love sprung from my only hate? Good god, that Jude Law sure does a number on you.

It isn’t Pope Lenny’s perfectly smooth face, or his indifference to anyone who isn’t Christ Almighty; nor is it the teenage bitchiness of the pope’s secretary of State, Cardinal Voiello. It isn’t the humor in watching Sister Mary play basketball in her habit; nor is it the weepy-eyed devotion of Pius’s favorite disciple, Esther.

In the sixth episode, we get to see Pius, dripping in his sacramental finery, spar with Italy’s extremely hot prime minister, whom he has made wait to see him for nine months. For the second time in this short season, a character is forced to ask Pius, whose eyes are fully closed, “Are you asleep, Holy Father?” To which he replies, once again, “No, mister prime minister. I’m praying for you.” What wouldn’t I do to pull this line out on all my greatest adversaries. I love you, Lenny, you are truly a petty bitch.

Two hot people. Photo: HBO

But perhaps my Stockholm Syndrome for the show is merely a blind form of catharsis. When Pius delivers his laundry list of demands to the prime minister, it sounds awfully familiar! No abortion, no common-law marriages, restrictions on Muslims and Hindus. He claims to be able to convince Catholic voters to withhold their votes in the upcoming election.

Oh.

Anyway, Pius manages to full-on drop a newborn baby on its head. This show is way more exciting than church ever was.

Until next time, this has been Young Nope.

Here’s the Worst Thing About Episode 6 of The Young Pope