Life is a journey marked by uncertainties, and, as such, it’s important to have constants that you can return to time and time again for grounding and comfort. For me, that constant is Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle site — a place that, when they’re not advising you to put jade eggs in your hoohoo, is selling tiny gold butt necklaces for $370. On Thursday, Goop published an extensive guide to getting rid of your old lingerie, and, spoiler, it’s not just “throw it in the trash.”
Suzannah Galland, a “life advisor and relationship expert,” says you should burn your bras, not as a feminist gesture, but because the ghosts of your old lovers are hanging out in there. “The lingerie you wore with past lovers can carry the toxic residue of those relationships, along with painful memories,” she writes. “While we might not think to trash lingerie that once made us feel so good — or that we spent a lot of money on — it’s a powerful, healing gesture to make.”
Here’s how she says to go about it:
1. Find a safe place where you can light a fire. (Why not invite a few close friends to join you, too?)
2. Before you start, you might want to write out a few words, or recite a prayer to help release and forgive.
3. Throw your needs-to-go lingerie into the fire one piece at a time.
4. Shout out the name(s) of the lover(s) you associate with each piece as you go.
5. Watch intently as the pieces burn. Know that your past is recycling into the ethers, liberating your future.
So if you happen to catch several different women screaming “Brad!” over a pit of flames this weekend, now you know why.