One of the particular joys of the Academy Awards is finding out what celebrities will be getting in their over-the-top swag bags from Distinctive Assets. Last year, there were vaporizers, expensive trips, and vampire breast-lifts, but this year, the company — which is not affiliated with the Academy — is concerned for your health. Among the trips and tchotchkes is a limited-edition Elvie (a gadget that coaches you on your Kegel exercises and quantifies your progress using Bluetooth and a fancy app), as well as feel-good gifts like a CPR kit; a “sleep positioner” for the snorer in your life; protein bars; Hydroxycut Platinum weight-loss supplements; a fancy “OM” bracelet; and portion-consciousness plates. Um, thanks?
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