While humanity’s most basic activity may not seem like a subject for buttoned-up social scientists, sex researchers have started unearthing some sensible findings around sexuality, like that happy couples have sex about once a week, and that watching porn primes partners’ attraction to each other. Every human desires to feel sexually confident and capable, which is why we’ve rounded up the best sex advice science has to offer. Below, learn how to be better in bed with five simple actions.
1. Get high.
According to a new, small, but in-depth study from New York University, marijuana goes better with sex than booze does — leading to “magnified” orgasms and less regret. Participants in the study claimed that getting high increased sensitivity, while getting drunk led to desensitization and more regret. The research also suggests that people hook up with fewer strangers while on marijuana, so take that how you will.
2. Make your special someone actually feel special.
A new study out of Israel found that when people felt their partner was being more attentive toward them, they were thirstier for their partners — and they had more sex. Just like the Drake lyric, Soon as you see the text, reply me suggests, responsiveness may be the key to keeping the fire burning in a long-term relationship. Scientists reason that when you feel your partner is responsive to you, then you see your partner as someone desirable and worth pursuing.
3. Understand that having good sex takes work.
Scientists from the University of Toronto analyzed how the way you frame your assumptions about sexual chemistry shapes your sexual chemistry. They found that couples who believed you had to put effort into sex in order for it to get better reported higher satisfaction in both the bedroom and the relationship. If you fall into this category, it means you don’t let a sex disagreement put a strain on the relationship, therefore making it more resilient.
4. Don’t study texts on sex; study your partner.
Beyond the basic anatomy of knowing what goes where, the best thing you can do to get better at sex is listen to your partner. Sexual relations, like any other relationship, come down to communication, and research suggests that what really drives sexual satisfaction is rapport. You can’t rely on noises or gestures — you must rely on positive guidance.
5. Be more altruistic.
It turns out that people really are just looking for kindness in a partner. According to new research, altruistic behavior significantly predicted how satisfied participants were with their sexual behavior and their number of sexual partners. Previous research has shown that people prefer more unselfish long-term partners, but this study shows generosity can be sexy in the short term, too. Proof that nice guys don’t always finish last.