There are two ways to look at what’s currently happening at the Fyre Festival, a “luxury” music festival scheduled to take place this weekend on a private island in the Bahamas: Either you feel bad for the hordes of rich millennials who shelled out upwards of $250,000 to attend a fancy version of Coachella and are now stuck in what is basically a FEMA camp with a sound system, or you think it’s appropriately hilarious and, hey, maybe even a sign of impending class war. Whatever your reaction, here are some life lessons we can all learn from the great Fyre Festival disaster. May we all take heed next time Ja Rule offers to organize a giant concert.
1. Don’t do something just because models told you to.
Fyre was originally hyped back in December with a sultry photo shoot featuring models like Emily Ratajkowski and Bella Hadid. These women all seem perfectly nice, but that doesn’t mean they give good advice about music festivals.
2. Don’t spend $250,000 to go to a luxury Coachella.
Look, we’re not trying to tell you what to do with your hard-earned money, but … don’t do this.
3. Always bring your own snacks.
One of the chief complaints is that Fyre attendees expecting five-star treatment found that the catering amounted to little more than pieces of untoasted bread and cheese. If they had used half their suitcase space to pack snacks, it wouldn’t be such a big deal.
4. When taking off for just a weekend, pack light.
Maybe just try to stuff all your snacks in a carry-on.
5. Know the difference between a digital rendering of a luxury campsite and a real luxury campsite.
This will help stave off any disappointment about accommodations upon arrival.
6. Trust no one.
Always carry your own lock — how else are you going to keep your snacks safe?
7. Do whatever you need to do to survive.
According to what one attendee told Fader, “we found out there was apparently not enough water there for everyone. You’d see people walking around with full cases of water that they stole from the dining area.”
8. Never apologize.
After it became clear that this was a complete disaster, the organizers posted a damage-control letter on their website, writing, “The festival is being postponed until we can further assess if and when we are able to create the high-quality experience we envisioned.” But they never actually said sorry.
