Republican Senator Uses Porcupine-Sex Metaphor to Explain Health-Care Bill

Senator Pat Roberts is well-versed in porcupine sex. Photo: Getty Images

As Republican lawmakers struggle to tweak their health-care bill to make it palatable to moderates and hard-line conservatives alike, one Senator came up with an intriguing metaphor to explain the process. Here’s what Pat Roberts, a Republican from Kansas, told reporters:

Once in Glacier National Park I saw two porcupines making love. I’m assuming they produced smaller porcupines. They produced something. It has to be done carefully. That’s what we’re doing now.

According to the Associated Press, which took the time to fact-check Roberts’s statement, “He is correct, it’s tricky, but unlike lawmakers, porcupines have their mission figured out.”

In theory, Republicans do have their mission figured out: Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell must wrangle 50 Republican votes plus the vice-president’s vote in order for the bill to pass. But in practice, the GOP seems to be driving blind, with certain senators withholding their support, and Senator Ted Cruz pushing an 11th-hour change to the bill that could drastically alter it from the House’s version.

So yeah, health-care legislation is exactly like porcupine sex — except it could kill thousands of people.

GOP Senator Uses Porcupine Sex to Explain Health-Care Bill