When the American Heart Association threw darts at coconut oil’s “superfood” status last week, more than a few feathers were ruffled. People were confused; doctors felt somewhat vindicated; and wellness experts — well, they were pissed. As the villainization of coconut oil spread, so did coconut support from the alternative-health and wellness community. From conspiracy theories to accusations of nefarious motives, behold 11 arguments as to why the American Heart Association says coconut oil is bad for you.
The Follow the Money Argument
The gist: These American Heart Association studies are funded by the fat cats who want to see coconuts burn. (Is Big Pineapple to blame?)
The Pharmaceutical Argument
The gist: The American Heart Association is an evil, pharmaceutical-money-taking entity.
The Social Media Illuminati Argument
The gist: Instagram is obviously in on the coconut conspiracy.
The Update Required Argument
The gist: The American Heart Association is working from outdated data.
The Reading Is Hard Argument
The gist: Coconut oil is good for you and journalists are lazy.
The You’re Going to Die Argument
The gist: The American Heart Association is promoting cancer.
The Well Actually Argument
The gist: Saturated fat is not bad for you. WTF???
The Let Me Introduce Another Thing You Should Fear Argument
The gist: Y’all should be worried about stress, not coconut oil.
The Mansplain Argument
The gist: Those quacks at the American Heart Association are working from old data!
The LOLZ I Know More Than You Argument
The gist: The American Heart Association employs a bunch of dummies.
The Oil Skull-and-Bones Argument
The gist: The American Heart Association wants you to buy soy and canola oil, period.