We Regret to Inform You That Belly Buttons Are Making a Comeback

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Britney Spears. Photo: Scott Gries/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Oh, the humanity of belly buttons!

There is arguably no more poignant reminder on the human body of where we came from, and how we’ve totally trashed ourselves since. In the Western world at least, the crevice that gave us life has since become a host for tacky diamond chains, gold charms, and maybe even shots of alcohol. Which is why we regret to inform you that in the year 2017, in this perverse month we call August when anything is possible, belly buttons are making a comeback.

As with most trends right now, America’s belly button heyday began back in the late ‘90s/early 2000s, when Alexander McQueen showed his famous “bumster” pants on the runway and celebrities like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and even Alanis Morissette flaunted their midriffs all over MTV. In fact, in Hilton’s memoir Confessions of an Heiress, she lists “Show[ing] off your navel and belly” as one of her wardrobe “dos and don’ts.”

“Everyone thinks guys are all about boobs and legs,” Hilton declares. “I think they’re really into stomachs.”

Today, belly buttons are less of a bro magnet for celebrities and more of a sartorial statement — a somewhat socially acceptable version of “free the nipple,” if you will. Their prominence also comes as the result of tank tops getting shorter, while waistlines simultaneously fall lower.

Bella Hadid. Photo: 2017 Team GT

Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner, and Emily Ratajkowski are, unsurprisingly, the leaders of the 2017 belly-button brigade. Hadid likes to demonstrate her ice-cold chill with low-slung boyfriend jeans and sneakers. And we can’t really blame Ratajkowski for never, ever covering up her ridiculously toned stomach — especially not when she’s eating steak.

Meanwhile, Jenner has taken to wearing crop tops that defy any sense of logic. If a crop top is so cropped that it doesn’t qualify as a top anymore, does it really exist at all? Regardless, we can’t look away from her belly button, like it’s the Eye of Sauron or something.

Really, what a time to be alive with a belly button.

We Regret to Inform You That Belly Buttons Are Back