Words. What do they mean? And why do we put them on T-shirts? We don’t know, and it seems as if brands like Forever 21, Old Navy, and Reese Witherspoon don’t really know either. Recently, it’s been all the rage to throw a few random, tenuously connected proper nouns onto a T-shirt that one might wear to, say, brunch or the gym or brunch at the gym. Haven’t gotten around to buying one yet? Let us help you come up with a few of your own.
Your ideal murder weapon + a character from your favorite children’s book growing up + any World Series winner from between 1988 and 1995
THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS
Your mother-in-law’s name + something you say during sex
IT’S SANDY IN HERE
Your favorite brunch cocktail + the color underwear you’re wearing + a birth control you tried but didn’t end up liking very much
The first line of Moby Dick + the first line of The Stranger + your Starbucks coffee order (pluralized with exclamation point)
CALL ME ISHMAEL
MOTHER DIED TODAY
The thing your teachers commented most frequently on your report cards in high school
DOESN’T LIVE UP TO POTENTIAL
Your shoe size + your bedtime + the number of contacts in your phone + how you fear you will die (with smiley face)
The actor whose name you had to look up on IMDb the other night + the tagline from a Netflix show being advertised in the subway
EVERYONE KNOWS SHE DID IT. NO ONE KNOWS WHY.
A French expression that is part of the English lexicon that you never say out loud because you are still not sure you really know how to pronounce it + a body part