Lisette Pylant turned 26 over the weekend. When her friends caught her texting her cheating ex-boyfriend while they were out celebrating, they decided to take matters into their own hands by finding and introducing her to a random guy in the bar — a normal-seeming dude named Justin. Justin bought Pylant a drink and the pair made plans for a follow-up date on Monday at the Truxton Inn in Washington, D.C. But Justin wasn’t just any guy, and their date wasn’t just any date. What was about to unfold was an internet saga so dramatic and so ridiculous you’d say “that could never happen” if you saw it in a movie.
When Pylant met Justin at the bar — where Pylant’s friend Kyle is a bartender — he told her he had friends meeting him there at 6:15. That was fine; Pylant told Select All that things weren’t going great, exactly. “I wouldn’t say he was much of a feminist,” she said. He was also carrying a sparkly blue cane. “He told us he jumped down a flight of stairs ‘sober’ in, like, Atlantic City,” Pylant said. “He said to me [about the cane] ‘you know $23 at CVS and you can call yourself a pimp.’”
And then, at 6:15, Justin’s second date showed up.
Those “friends” he was meeting, as it turned out, were actually a second date Justin had scheduled. Once she got wise to Justin’s moves, Pylant did two things. First, she decided to make sure the other date knew what was up. And second, she started tweeting a now-viral thread of updates.
Justin left to take a phone call when Pylant let the second date know what was happening. “I said ‘Are you here on a date with him? Because I’m here on a date with him. We should probably just go get a drink together and leave this dude here.’” The two women decided to grab another round at the bar across the street, ANXO Cidery, when date number three — the person Justin had been talking with on the phone — arrived.
Justin headed to the bathroom and the two women looped her in, too. “I think he was panicking a little,” Pylant said.
“At this point we’ve formed like a coalition,” she said. “We’re making fun of him and he’s trying to play it off like he didn’t triple-book himself, or really sextuple, book himself.” The three women headed to the second bar. Meanwhile, two of Pylant’s friends, whom she had originally called to rescue her from her bad date, camped out at the first bar to see if Justin had any more women on his dance card for the evening. “They were half kidding,” Pylant said. “But then they texted me ‘dude, he’s here with a fourth girl!’”
One of the friends in the first bar headed across the street, where he happened to cross paths with … date number five, Alexandra Woody. (A different friend of Pylant’s informed number four after her date ended and sent her over.) Pylant’s friend convinced Woody to talk to the other dates before meeting Justin. “So now me, two, three, and five are all sitting there,” Pylant said.
“I waited for number four to stand up and I said ‘hi, I’m number five’ and he goes ‘oh no, you have been cut’ and made the hand motion,” Woody, date five, told Select All via Twitter DM. “I felt like I was on the MTV show Next … He said ‘I never lied to any of you’ which was a lie because he told me he was at a friend’s house while he was actually on a date [number four].”
After date five, Pylant ran into Justin on the street while she was making a phone call. “Look, I don’t want you think I’m an asshole,” he told her. “You’re the only one I wanted to get to know. You seem really great. I don’t want you to hate me.” Pylant said she wasn’t having any of it and asked him when date number six would be arriving. Justin told her she’d be arriving at 8. “I was kidding,” Pylant said. “I didn’t seriously think he’d have a sixth date.”
By around 10, Woody and the other dates had gone home. (This all went down on a casual Monday evening, mind you.) Pylant and her friends headed back to the Truxton Inn to catch up with Kyle, who had been bartending this whole time. Which is where they met Jessica, a.k.a. date number six. And also Jessica’s mom and aunt, who happened to pop by, too. Justin, possibly finally sensing defeat, went home.
“There wasn’t a seventh or eight date,” Pylant told Select All. “At least not that we know of. Maybe he’ll feel bad when he wakes up and realizes this is all over the internet.” And it is all over the internet. “This is honestly the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me,” Pylant told Select All over the phone from the bar where some friends and one of the dates were still camped out early Tuesday morning reliving the drama and watching the retweets and favs roll in. “Friends of mine have been tweeting about it at Ava DuVernay,” she said. “If someone stars in a movie about me it better be Rihanna.”
As for the group of six, friendship forged in the fire of one of the worst date(s) of all time? “We’re making a ‘Sister Wives’ group chat and taking selfies and planning a brunch. We’re gonna watch John Tucker Must Die,” Pylant said.