The 12 Most Middle-School Lines From Taylor Swift’s New Song

The Old Taylor Swift. Photo: MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images

On Thursday night, adult preteen woman Taylor Swift released “Gorgeous,” the latest single off of her upcoming extremely petty album Reputation. What can we expect from this new, more self-aware version of the pop singer? Apparently a lot of lyrics that sound exactly like a middle school diary entry.

Swift’s song has the trademark hyperbolic dramatics of a 12-year-old who truly believes she’s going to die if her unrequited crush doesn’t notice her. It’s got the lyrics of a girl who’s procrastinating on her seventh grade English poetry assignment and crying in her bedroom because her life is over. And it also has the boastful swagger of a young lady who has definitely tried alcohol and who totally has an older boyfriend, you just don’t know him, he’s in high school.

Here are some of the most middle-school lines from Swift’s new song.

– “You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk.”

– “And I got a boyfriend, he’s older than us.”

– “You’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much.”

– “You’ve ruined my life by not being mine.”

– “You’re so gorgeous, I can’t say anything to your face ‘cause look at your face.”

– “And I’m so furious at you for making me feel this way but what can I say? You’re gorgeous.”

– “You should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room.”

–“If you got a girlfriend I’m jealous of her but if you’re single … that’s honestly worse.”

– “You’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts.”

– “Ocean-blue eyes lookin’ in mine. I feel like I might sink and drown and die.”

– “You make me so happy it turns back to sad. There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.”

– “You are so gorgeous, it makes me so mad.”

This is probably supposed to be another satirical play off of her “crazy girl in love” reputation, à la “Blank Space” — especially given the line about stumbling “home to [her] cats … alone” — but instead, it just sounds juvenile. Apparently Reputation’s theme is “I know what you guys say about me on the internet!”

The 12 Most Middle-School Lines From Taylor Swift’s New Song