satire

I Love My Short-Haired Bachelor Contestant

I love this woman and her short hair. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the short-haired side, ones who had pixie cuts, inverted bobs, or buzz cuts, girls that the average (basic) person might refer to as “that girl with short hair.” Then, as I became an adult and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and how the media marginalizes women by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of beauty (long, silky, wavy locks) I realized how many Bachelor viewers have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: exposed neck, bangs, cute little sideburns, etc. Her hair’s shape and length won’t be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it’s the one featured in my life and on my TV. There’s nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both short-haired and confident; this gorgeous girl I will watch compete with 28 other, longer-haired women for the affection of a Bachelor no one wanted, can’t pull her hair into a ponytail and is still the most beautiful one in the room. Viewers, rethink what The Bachelor has told you that you should watch. A real woman is not one with waist-length hair, shoulder-length hair, or even a lob. Bekah Martinez is real. She has beautiful short hair on the back and sides, and slightly longer, but still extremely short hair on the top. Future contestants, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be cast on a reality-TV competition. As long as you are conventionally attractive, there is a network out there that is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, and then celebrate themselves for being progressive enough to cast you.

Who knows, maybe next year we’ll even get a contestant with glasses.

I Love My Short-Haired Bachelor Contestant