weddings

Amy Schumer’s Wedding Vows Were As R-Rated As You’d Expect

Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer’s secret wedding to chef Chris Fischer truly had everything: John Early officiating the wedding as Vicky, Jennifer Lawrence and Cazzie David hanging out together, puppies walking down the aisle, and, of course, blow-job jokes.

“In my vows I go, ‘But I promise I’ll keep going down on you, even though everyone tells me I won’t,’” Schumer revealed in an interview on her friend Nikki Glaser’s Sirius XM show. “And his were like, heckling me too. He was like, ‘The other day I lost a tennis match and you called me a fucking loser.’ It was all like awful shit.”

So far, the comedian seems pretty smitten with wedded life. “Part of the thing that’s good about us getting married so quickly is that we’re so in love,” Schumer explained. “It feels f–king good,” she added. “I’m a wife as hell. But it’s like a novelty. Somebody went to sit next to [Chris] and he’s like, ‘My wife is sitting here,’ and then I got back and he was excited to tell me that he said that. I just have been really overusing it to a degree that’s insane. Like, when it’s completely uncalled for.”

Still, there are some things that Schumer will miss about being single. “I’ve been thinking of certain things … This show is called ‘You Up,’ right? I don’t think I’ll ever get a text like that again,” she joked. “You know what I mean? And that made me really happy, but also really sad.”

Amy Schumer’s Wedding Vows Were As R-Rated As You’d Expect