indecent proposals

We Don’t Need to Make Avocado Proposals a Thing

As long as marriage exists as an institution, so will gimmicky marriage proposals. But no longer are we content to just stick a ring in a piece of cake or risk public humiliation at a stadium or make a viral proposal video that our friends and family will secretly and brutally mock behind our backs. No, something much darker is underfoot: the avocado proposal.

As Today points out, earlier this month, a food stylist and photographer posted the following image of a diamond ring inside an avocado with the caption “tag someone who should propose like this.” It appears that thousands of people would indeed be into someone proposing like this.

And a “yoga memes” account called “@mindful__af” (be with me, Lord) had a similar idea a while back.

But the avocado proposal isn’t just an Instagram fantasy. For some, it is a reality.

And look, far be it from me to judge one’s produce picking strategies, but I’m going to do it anyway: are you serious with this one, guy?

This all being said, the avocado proposal has only cropped on Instagram a few times and is far from becoming a widespread trend. Which means we still have time to stop this. Do you really want to suggest a lifelong commitment to someone via a piece of jewelry stuck into rapidly rotting fruit until it gets goopy?

Plus, there’s always the better proposal option: Having an hours-long reasonable discussion about the pros and cons of marriage, then exchanging a firm handshake of agreement either way at the end.

We Don’t Need to Make Avocado Proposals a Thing