dating

7 Women on the Farthest They’ve Gone to Avoid Embarrassment on a Date

Photo: Charles Phelps Cushing/ClassicSt/Getty Images

If you’ve ever had a date, chances are you also have an awkward date story to share. It’s uncomfortable enough trying to figure out if the stranger sitting next to you is an appropriate match. Add on all the effort that goes into making a solid first impression — and the fact that even the best-laid plans often go awry — and you’re bound to run into some cringeworthy situations. Here are the mishaps that seven women encountered during the early stages of a relationship, and the lengths they went to in order to keep said mishaps under wraps.

Age 25, New York City

I snuck a guy I’d been seeing up to the top of a skyscraper to impress him. When we got to the top, he went to make a move on me. That’s when I realized wet blood was on my skirt. Instead of fessing up that I got my period and needed to take care of it, I ran into the stairwell and locked the door behind me. He was trapped up there for five minutes while I freaked out and rearranged my outfit to hide the stain and put a tampon in. He kept shouting and trying to find a way to open the door the whole time too. When I finally let him in, I acted like I’d been playing a joke. He never found out why I did that.

Age 19 (at the time), Paris

I was at Disneyland with a boyfriend of just under a year. We lived a few hours away so it was just a short day trip. It was a super hot and sweaty day, and I had a particularly bad UTI flare-up to the point that I was stopping at every single bathroom we saw, and peeing tiny streams of blood. He kept asking if something was wrong and I really didn’t want to tell him, so in a last ditch effort, by the fourth or fifth restroom within the hour, I squeezed out a huge glob of Smith’s Rosebud Salve onto my finger and rubbed it in and around my vagina. It worked. Ten minutes later, the burning stopped and we continued to enjoy our very romantic day at Disneyland. He never found out, and we dated until I moved away a few months later. Best money I ever spent on lip balm.

Age 26, Philadelphia

I met him through online dating. He happened to live one block away. We “dated” for about a month. I really liked him at the time — it was the first person I felt a connection with since [my ex-boyfriend].
I was on a first or second date [with him] and I told him I’m not picky and to order for us, and he ordered the olive plate, which is literally just a plate of assorted olives. I could have said, “I don’t like olives,” but for some reason I felt embarrassed and didn’t want to seem like a little kid who is picky. They had pits and stuff. So I forced myself to eat them and was gagging internally.

Age 28, New York City

We had met once a few months [prior] and I was crazy about the guy. I purposely went out in a blizzard to a concert just because I heard he was going to be there, and when I got there he didn’t even recognize me. We ended up talking all night and he mentioned The Walking Dead. I told him I was working through the TV series and suggested we watch one of the new episodes together once I caught up, even though I’d only seen one episode.

I ended up speeding through three seasons in two weeks and missing a lot of sleep. When we finally watched it together, I found out that he had never watched the earlier episodes and had started only on the most recent season. I was pretty annoyed, but didn’t tell him until much later when things were more serious. Now we’re married and we’ve been together a little over five years. I still make fun of him for it.

Age 39, Philadelphia

He was a friend of a friend and was having game night at his house. Who doesn’t love a game night? I had my period and he had a tiny trash wastebasket in his bathroom that really only fit three Kleenexes and a Q-tip. There’s no way I can stuff in this hefty jumbo pad. I had to take it with me and put it in my purse. He had these two, humongous dogs — the dogs wouldn’t stop sniffing around it. They knew something was in there and they had to get it. I don’t think he ever figured out why his dogs were barking at me so much, why his dogs were so interested in me and my purse.

Age 25, Newark, Delaware

I had just started seeing a guy in college. He was on the rugby team and lived in a house with a few other teammates. I had stayed over for the first time and the next day they were doing a “welcome” (hazing) event for the new players. I stayed upstairs to get some work done before we were supposed to go to lunch.

I had a UTI at the time, and at one point I realized that I had to go and I had to go now. The problem was his roommate was taking a shower in the upstairs bathroom near where I was, and the hazing was going on in the kitchen, which is where the second bathroom was located.

I didn’t think I could make it downstairs and knew that even if I did, the guy would get in trouble for having a non-player present at the event. I had to go so bad that, without thinking, I grabbed a nearby Gatorade bottle and somehow managed to mostly urinate in the bottle. Once I was done, I was both relieved and horrified. I discreetly threw the bottle away in the bathroom once his roommate was done taking a shower. I never told him and blamed the wet spot on his rug on his roommate’s new puppy.

Age 24, New York City

I was at a bar with a guy I had a crush on at the time. We weren’t on a date and I don’t think he even realized that I was into him. One of his friends spotted us and assumed we were on a date, and sent over two tequila shots. I cannot handle tequila. At. All. But I was trying to impress him so we said a little cheers and took the shot. He knew I was hesitant so he immediately starts saying how much of a champ I was and that it didn’t even look like it was painful for me.

As he’s complimenting how much of a champ I am, I start to feel the nausea coming. I just nodded and said I needed to go to the bathroom. I barely made it in there before I vomited in a stall. It was not my proudest moment. Another girl walked in who luckily had gum and I composed myself and went back out. He asked if I was okay, and I tried my best to hide the fact that I just got sick. We started hooking up after that, so I guess it worked out in the end.

7 Women on Dealing With Their Embarrassing Date Moments