An Ode to Ben Affleck’s Stained T-Shirts

By
Ben Affleck, his stained T-shirt, and Lindsay Shookus.

Other than the inevitability of death, there are few things in life upon which we can truly depend. But thankfully, we can take comfort in knowing there is at least one other constant in this world: Ben Affleck’s reliably stained T-shirts.

On Sunday, Affleck was spotted in Hawaii with his girlfriend, SNL producer Lindsay Shookus, and an immediately noticeable stain on his T-shirt (see the picture above). Of course, given that Hawaii is warm, Shookus was in workout clothes, and Affleck was wearing leisurely shorts that look like swim trunks but are perhaps for working out, we can safely assume that this stain comes from sweat (one of his favorite sources of stains, see below).

Ben Affleck with stains and Lindsay Shookus. Photo: NGRE/BACKGRID

But he’s also had stains from his beloved iced coffee:

Ben Affleck with coffee stains. Photo: SOVE, GICE / Stoianov / Vasquez-Max Lopes / BACKGRID

And potentially from the hot dog he ate in Brentwood on the Fourth of July in 2017. Check out the hot dog on Just Jared and the stain below:

Ben Affleck with sweat or hot-dog stains.

And sometimes there’s even random unidentifiable stains on non-T-shirt items of clothing, including hoodies:

There are stains on his hoodie pocket. Photo: SOVE, GICE/Stoianov/Max - Lopes/Geva / BACKGRID

The source of the Affleck shirt stain isn’t nearly as important as the stain itself. Truly, we don’t care how he got each stain — sweat away, my sad friend! spill all the iced coffee you want! — but the stains are always just there for us when we need them most. In a world of insane tweets, potentially tragic feuds, and too much drama to handle, it’s comforting to know these consistently messy shirts can offer the stability and security we so desperately need.

Ben Affleck’s stained T-shirts, we thank you.

An Ode to Ben Affleck’s Stained T-Shirts