5 Eye-Cream Tips for Mark Zuckerberg

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Mark Zuckerberg. Photo: The Washington Post/The Washington Post/Getty Images

One of the great equalizers in life for tech CEOs and regular people alike? Dry eye skin. With Mark Zuckerberg’s testimony before Congress this week, people have been scrutinizing his word choice, his suits, his choice of chairs, but the Cut has been focused on his puffy under eyes.

There’s nothing like watching a billionaire testify before Congress in high-def C-span to remind you that dry skin gets everyone (much like Cambridge Analytica’s data breach), and that you need to moisturize your under eyes. The skin under the eyes is irritable, contains the least amount of oil glands, and is thin, sort of like Zuckerberg’s defenses.

But all is not lost! There’s an easy way to secure your under-eye skin, and it’s much easier than defending Facebook from Russian interference. Here are our carefully honed tips for ensuring that you protect your tender eye skin a little better than you appear to have locked down our personal information.

1. Invest in an eye cream that will cure dark eye circles. Actually, just kidding! Any cream that claims to do that is a joke, much like anyone who claims that they fully understand Facebook privacy settings. However, there are creams that can brighten the appearance of them — here are a few to consider.

Photo: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

2. Stick on some eye patches. These from Skyn Iceland are the overall favorite. They won’t slide down your face, they’re cooling, and will help de-puff the under-eye area. They’re not magic, so they can’t bring you back to the time when you were merely a young Harvard student in your dorm room. But they can take some of the heat off your eyes before the next public appearance.

Skyn Iceland Hydro Cool Firming Eye Gels
$15, Dermstore

3. Try jade-rolling. Everyone on Instagram (your other tech child who isn’t in trouble) is doing it. It’s a nice way to do an at-home face massage. If you really get into the lymph nodes, you can “drain” and roll away some of the puffiness. Just make sure you do it only in an upward, not downward direction.

Jade Roller Beauty
$35, Dermstore

4. Pat on a nice, luxurious eye cream that won’t settle into the skin. You’ll want something with proven moisturizing ingredients and fatty acids. This one from Olehenriksen contains jojoba-seed oil, shea butter, and coconut oil. It even contains a bit of a light-yellow pigment, which helps to color correct the appearance of dark circles. All in all, it’ll help protect the moisture barrier around your eyes — maybe it will inspire you to offer better privacy protection.

Olehenriksen Banana Bright Eye Crème
$38, Sephora

5. I’ll whisper this one. But there’s no reason to be afraid of … a cover-up. But only when it comes to concealer. For the record, there is absolutely nothing else that I, New York Media, NYMag, or the Cut is suggesting that you conceal. A little tinted concealer with a brightening effect could ease some of the shadows around your eyes. I suggest you try the legendary YSL Beauty Touché Eclat, but here are some other ones to check out.

Try some of these tips, Zuck! This is the real news — not that fake stuff.

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5 Eye-Cream Tips for Mark Zuckerberg