lady things

OMG John Kelly Reportedly Said Women Are Too Emotional?!

John Kelly.

Look, I don’t want to be dramatic but I am OPENLY SOBBING and have thrown SEVERAL CRYSTALS at the wall because, according to an NBC News report, White House chief of staff General John Kelly has “told aides multiple times that women are more emotional than men, including at least once in front of the president.” Aaaahh!!!

Admittedly, it took me a while to read the full report because my boobs kept bumping into the computer and shutting it down. Also, I kept having to take breaks to eat chocolate, and get my period, and accuse my male co-workers of sexual harassment when they were just trying to be polite. But when I finally read it all, wow, I was so upset!!

I guess I’m just sick of all these stereotypes about women in the workplace, you know? Like saying that we take things too personally, and are always having big Twitter meltdowns. Or that we’re bad at math, and are always getting things wrong — like how many people attended our inauguration, or how many people watched the State of the Union or whatever. Or that we’re really obsessive about food, and make weird, passive-aggressive comments about what other people eat. Or that we’re always making petty comments about our co-workers, and giving them mean nicknames, like Lyin’ Ted or Crooked Hillary. Or that we’re vain, and too obsessed with our hair. Or that we can’t stop throwing dinner parties. Or that we colluded with Russia to win a presidential election. I’m sick of it!

Granted, I understand that not everybody can be as stoic as Kelly who, according to NBC’s report, called the president “an idiot” multiple times, and has proven again and again to be very good at masking his frustration during meetings.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to leave work early to go eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while I free bleed and watch reruns of This Is Us.

OMG John Kelly Reportedly Said Women Are Too Emotional?!