Just Put the Toilet Seat Down


Life offers many moments wherein one must do something they would rather not do. For me, at present, it is talking about toilet seats; for you, in perpetuity, it is putting down the toilet seat if you are a person who leaves the toilet seat up in restrooms wherein even a single other restroom user would rather have the toilet seat down. This is unpleasant for both of us, but I hope you understand that it is your fault.

I don’t want to spend too much time talking about this; it is a non-ideal topic of discussion and there are flowers blooming outside as we speak, and maybe we would like to go buy a Sanpellegrino Limonata and enjoy it quietly while looking at the sun shining outside of our office window, imagining that it is warm out there rather than cold. But I will say this topic came to mind yesterday after I saw a tweet from Casey Johnston about the men at her place of work:

To solve this problem, she is implementing a policy: if she finds the toilet seat up, she chooses a man in the office at random to squirt with a Super Soaker. Very good. It is up to the men to band together and prevent this from happening. An incredible idea.

You’d think we wouldn’t have to talk about it anymore because the year is one million and it is an idea so obvious that bringing it up is hack and I’m embarrassed to have to do it, but I’ve touched a lot of toilet seats and I would rather touch closer to none. So here is a quick explainer:

WHAT: Put the toilet seat down after you put it up.

WHY: You put it up.

WHERE: Essentially everywhere.

AN EXCEPTION: Your home if no one else lives there and you know no one else is coming over.

Thank you and “I’m sorry” (that’s you saying I’m sorry to me).

Just Put the Toilet Seat Down