Police Officers Fired After Claiming Mice Ate 1,000 Pounds of Missing Weed

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A mouse, marijuana nuggets.

Eight police officers in Argentina were fired after coming up with an adorable, but clearly false excuse, for how over a half ton of weed went missing: they claimed that mice ate it all.

The Guardian reports that a warehouse in Pilar had a record of 6,000 kilos (13,200 pounds) of impounded marijuana on the books. But a recent inspection found only 5,460 kilos (12,012 pounds remaining). That leaves over 1,000 pounds of missing drugs that needed to be accounted for, and quickly. So former police commissioner Javier Specia and his subordinates offered up the kind of easily debunked story you would tell if you had, say, been working your way through 1,000 pounds of weed.

If you’ve been delighting yourself with the mental image of a tiny mouse smoking an even tinier blunt, let forensics experts sadly disabuse you of that possibility:

“Buenos Aires University experts have explained that mice wouldn’t mistake the drug for food, and that if a large group of mice had eaten it, a lot of corpses would have been found in the warehouse,” said a spokesperson for the judge.

The officers will face a judge in early May. Meanwhile, I refuse to let a little thing called “science” stop me from publishing the next great children’s book, If You Give a Mouse an Edible.

Police Officers: Mice Ate 1,000 Pounds of Missing Weed