nothing can terrace apart

Everyone’s Looking for Something in This Episode of Terrace House

Photo: Fuji Television Network Inc./East Entertainment/Netflix

On this episode of Terrace House: Opening New Doors, Yuudai opened a door that was just a mirror filled with people screaming “You’re stupid” at him. Just kidding, no one did that, but they should have because he is, in fact, a walking dumdum.

Before we get to that, the Grand Dames of Online TV — Azusa Babazono, Yoshimi Tokui, You, Reina Triendl, Ryota Yamasato, and Shono Hayama — break down the previous episode. Much like Tap’s Costco incident, Yuudai will never live down the bland soup he made in episode one. The “flavorless hot water” could also be a personality trait for Yuudai, who is quickly becoming the star of the show. The celebrities wonder if he’ll even get hired at the restaurant he applied to, but the answer is clear when the sweetest woman alive, Reina, says even she wouldn’t hire him. They also look back on Yuudai’s apology to Ami and his second go at asking her out. The celebrities think he may have a chance with her because she didn’t seem as put off as one might expect. Our experts note that this week we may see Taka make a move on Ami, considering he seemed to be slightly bothered at her accepting Yuudai’s date invite the week before. We’ll see.

In the kitchen, Tsubasa asks if Mizuki is headed off to bed or ready for another glass of beer. Shocking the young hockey player, Mizuki says she will have another beer, and wonders aloud if she should stop buying six-packs since she can’t seem to avoid drinking all of them in one sitting. Taka, who’s also in the kitchen, sits for one more beer with Mizuki as Tsubasa heads to bed. With lips as loose as a grown woman’s ball gown on a child playing dress-up, Mizuki uses her alone time with Taka to verbally destroy Yuudai.

Referencing their excursion to the outlet mall earlier in the day, Mizuki tells Taka that even though Yuudai asked Ami out on a date, she’s not sure Ami thinks of it that way. She explains and says that Ami doesn’t think that Yuudai actually likes her, so she can’t take anything he says or does seriously. Since Taka has his eyes on Ami, he perks up at this discussion. Coolly, he tells Mizuki that the housemates should support Yuudai and be easier on him because he’s just a kid maturing at a different rate than most people. Mizuki scoffs, then laughs, as she says she can only “lecture him,” because that’s what he deserves.

Remembering more things she hates about Yuudai, Mizuki tells Taka about Yuudai’s 2,000 yen shopping budget … plus his use of his father’s credit card. Mizuki questions how he can spend so much of his father’s money with no remorse, shopping at high-end stores like Givenchy and Gucci. Finally, Taka caves and admits that he’s glad he couldn’t make it shopping because this ostentatious display of faux wealth would have driven him crazy. However, he does concede that he’s been trying to look after Yuudai in his own way, even bathing with the child and passing down wisdom. Hmmm, how could we forget? Two bare bottoms in the bathhouse breeze. Taka, the world’s teacher.

There’s no stopping Mizuki’s annoyance with Yuudai, and with good reason she questions why he is the way he is. Taka cuts in, wondering if Mizuki is simply drunk as she downs one of her last beers of the night. She says she’s not, because she can “still talk.” Taka excuses himself to go to the bathroom, but comes back moments later with Shion and Yuudai.

Yuudai enters the kitchen ready to rumble, while Shion enters ready to listen. They tell Mizuki that they could hear her getting angry at Yuudai from the other room and wanted to come chat. Without missing a beat, Mizuki asks Yuudai why he buys things with his father’s card.

Yes, how Yuudai chooses to spend his money, or his parent’s money,  isn’t necessarily anyone’s business but his explanation is quite telling of his personality. He tells the room that even though he uses his father’s credit card for large purchases, he’s calculating all of the costs in his head, estimating how much he’ll earn in the years to come, and plans on paying his dad back. This boy, who has no job, skills, or motivation, is just crossing his fingers (that probs have a higher IQ than his brain) in hopes of making money to pay back years’ worth of everyday expenses and splurges.

Mizuki wants to know if this plan of his is so great, then why doesn’t he just get a credit card in his own name and plan to pay back that money when he has it? Yuudai, thinking he’s building a case, says that his spending is “seasonal” because he can’t pass up a sale. When asked about not buying everything on sale, the shopping addict and hoarder Yuudai cannot comprehend the question, but does mention that he has hobbies other than cooking. Mizuki points out that something just might not be working if Yuudai can’t sacrifice his hobbies for his cooking. Why is he even in Karuizawa to find independence if he just wants to mooch off of his dad forever?

Again, Yuudai thinks he’s defending himself and shoots back that it’s not mooching if he’s just buying what he likes. As Mizuki’s tone gets slightly more aggressive, Shion asks her to leave Yuudai’s cooking out of it. But Shion does agree with Mizuki regarding Yuudai’s immaturity and hopes that he’ll find a way to change.

Taka, who spent much of this talk busying himself on the computer, makes his way over to the kitchen island and observes. Like a true shopaholic, Yuudai says shopping is not about the money but about buying things he enjoys no matter the price. Shion asks everyone to calm down, and Taka finally says something: He tells Yuudai that Mizuki is just worried about his well-being and wants Yuudai to live up to his potential and fulfill his goal of being more independent. Mizuki agrees, meets Taka at the island, and apologizes for getting involved. As she stands next to the man of the house, she quietly cries.

Like a broken camera, Yuudai isn’t getting the whole picture, and explains that he will take everyone’s advice into consideration all while honoring his own values of spending his father’s money. With this, Mizuki’s quiet tears turn into wails of worry. If you’re keeping track, this is the third person in the house that Yuudai’s made cry by just existing.

Our celebrity commentators are floored by Yuudai’s actions and call him a “stereotypical deadbeat,” especially given his fake payment plan for his father. They note that this is exactly the reasoning someone who is in a severe amount of debt has. Profoundly, my queen on the end of the couch, Azusa, says that Yuudai is so prideful because he has no skill! Everyone agrees, and they also agree that Yuudai won’t even recognize his stupidity when he plays back the Terrace House tapes.

The following day, all of the house members gather with one another in the living room. Shion asks Taka how well Yuudai did snowboarding earlier in the day, and Taka impersonates Yuudai’s Valley-boy-if-I-only-had-a-brain pattern of speech and says the child did “seriously good” on the slopes. Laughing louder than she has in her entire life, Ami lets out a cackle that takes everyone by surprise. Yuudai asks if she found Taka’s impersonation funny — and she says she did because it was spot-on and just as “annoying” as the real thing. Looks like someone got some more mean girl juice from her gal pal with the eye patch!

Yuudai, a short distance away from Ami, tosses one of his panda bears in her face. She throws the panda bear on the ground, giggling a bit, but stops abruptly when Dr. Yuudai/Mr. Give Me a Break looks at her furiously and says the panda is really important to him as he picks it up from the ground.

After coming for Jay Pharoah’s impersonation wig, Taka asks who in the group is available to help him box up some product the following morning. Yuudai can’t help because he’ll be “holed up in the kitchen” cooking all day, but Ami says she’s available. Slightly jealous, Yuudai slips Ami a glance, wondering if she’s helping Taka out of goodwill or if there’s something more. Quickly, every other house member seems to have something to tend to and Ami and Yuudai are left alone.

Pulling a Yuudai, Ami calmly asks Yuudai if he loves to cook so much, then why doesn’t he do it regularly? Yuudai tells her that he doesn’t cook often because cooking isn’t all there is to cooking, but he studies “pretty much every day.” When Ami asks what exactly he’s studying outside of the kitchen, Yuudai’s answer involves researching ingredients, heating methods, and how to pull the best flavors out of food. Then he tells Ami that as a professional chef he gets mad when amateurs question his methods.

They sit in silence until Yuudai reconfirms their upcoming date to Kyu Karuizawa, saying he’d like to take her out to eat food and enjoy the mood of the city. Nearly despondent, Ami turns to Yuudai and says that Kyu Karuizawa’s mood includes lights, fireworks, and fall leaves. She goes on to stare Yuudai in the face and say that she has no interest in any of those things. Instead, she’d rather go to an amusement park and spend her days doing something with a clear intention. Stupefied, Yuudai says nothing. Ami, still speaking directly to Yuudai, tells him she “dodged that.”

In the garage the next morning, Taka is surrounded by packing boxes, and he fills them with his merchandise. Ami comes out to help him, and the two chat. Looking at Ami like he’s in love, he proceeds to give Ami advice on her career and future. He tells her that Yuudai was wrong when he expressed worry about her future and “late start” at job hunting in her final years of college. Even in his 30s, he’s not scared to make career moves should he see fit, so she definitely shouldn’t be. He also advises Ami against doing anything 100 percent and suggest 80 percent is a lot better. In his opinion, if anyone does anything 100 opinion they’re tire out too quickly. I mean, if he’s only doing 80 percent of the work he could be doing to get that body looking like it does, this all works out for me. I just wouldn’t be able to handle an additional 20 percent.

Before breaking for lunch, Taka asks Ami if Yuudai is actually “holed up” in the kitchen cooking, and she tells him that he’s actually still asleep. The newest featured cast member on SNL, Taka, also impersonates Yuudai’s annoying tone once more.

Elsewhere, Shion makes good on his promise to Tsubasa, and takes her to Kusatsu for their foot-bath date. Before sticking their feet in the water, they admire the potent sulfur garden and take some photos.

At the baths, Yuudai asks Tsubasa more about what she enjoys in life, since she’s expressed some feelings of loneliness. It comes up that Tsubasa is really shy, but she’s working on it because she doesn’t like how red her face gets when she’s overcome with emotion. Shion tells her not to change that because she looks cute when she blushes, and that she should do it more often. Well, it’s working, because Tsubasa’s face becomes increasingly red.

Shion then tells Tsubasa that he’ll wait for her. He has it all, beloveds! The drama, the intense language on a first date, the height, the looks, the PASSION! I WISH I WERE A FOOT BATH AND SHION COULD SOAK ALL OF HIS PERFECT TOES IN ME! I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLY NASTY ON MULTIPLE LEVELS BECAUSE THAT IS MY LOVE AND I’M WILLING TO ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON, WILL YOU!?

Later that night, Taka asks Tsubasa how the foot bath was and she she tells him that she really enjoyed it. She’s still unclear on Shion’s intentions, but she’s willing to patiently find out. Tsubasa asks Taka if he’s into anyone in the house, and he says he thinks Ami’s cute. … but like a little sister. Um, sir? Not stopping his zigzagged approach at confessing to liking her, he says that even though she feels like a sister, she’s cute to look at and could possibly be interested.

Hopefully next week Taka finds a better way to describe his attraction for Ami, Mizuki finds peace, and Shion and Tsubasa find themselves preparing to get married. Until then, remember not to make a Yuudai out of yourselves!

Everyone’s Searching in This Episode of Terrace House