What Would a Quentin Tarantino Lord of the Rings Have Looked Like?

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Photo: Miramax Pictures, New Line Cinema

Peter Jackson’s combined Lord of the Rings film trilogy is an 11-hour-long masterpiece, a painstaking adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s beloved book series.

But, per the new book Anything You Can Imagine: Peter Jackson and the Making of Middle-Earth, it could’ve turned out much worse in Middle Earth. Producer Harvey Weinstein’s company Miramax reportedly wanted “a more radical, streamlined approach” that would’ve combined all three books into a two-hour-long film. According to The Guardian:

This would have meant cutting the Helm’s Deep valley, having Eowyn replace Faramir as Boromir’s sister, the Balrog would disappear and Saruman too was on shaky ground.

This fool really wanted to cut Helm’s Deep!

Even more outrageous is the claim that Weinstein reportedly threatened to get Quentin Tarantino to direct instead. Which means, much like Frodo was destined to destroy the one ring in the fires of Mount Doom, we must take up a difficult and arduous quest: fan-casting what a Tarantino Lord of the Rings would’ve looked like.

Presenting Quentin Tarantino’s Lord of the Rings, starring:

Walton Goggins as Frodo
Tim Roth as Sam
Michael Madsen as Aragorn
Brad Pitt as Boromir
Uma Thurman as Legolas
Kurt Russell as Gimli
Jennifer Jason Leigh as Arwen
Daryl Hannah as Galadriel
Samuel L. Jackson as Gandalf
Christoph Waltz as Saruman
Steve Buscemi as Smeagol/Gollum
Featuring: Quentin Tarantino as the voice of Sauron

Unfortunately Merry and Pippin had to be cut for time.

What Would a Tarantino Lord of the Rings Have Looked Like?