As writer Allison Davis so eloquently argued earlier, someone who oozes Big Dick Energy is not necessarily cocky or arrogant or even well-endowed: They just low-key feel themselves, and may or may not be packing ten inches. It’s an aura. A vibe! Which means that entities other than humans can emit that powerful energy, such as, say, New York City subway lines.
While the MTA as whole certainly does not have Big Dick Energy, there are a handful of subway lines that move about the city as if they have a giant dong, and they know it. The F line, for example? Absolutely not. But take the G line? That baby slips and slides up and down Brooklyn, perfuming the whole borough with its overwhelming BDE.
Below, the Cut staff on which trains have BDE, and which emit Mediocre Dick Energy (MDE).
F: It stands for “flaccid”
The MTA, on a whole, is woefully lacking BDE. That, and it has a crumbling signal system. But the F? Definitely the line with the worst DE. And I’d know, because I ride it every day. The F stands for “flaccid,” you heard it here first. — Gabriella Paiella, senior writer
S: Oh hell yeah
The Franklin Avenue shuttle (a.k.a. the S) has BDE in spades. It makes, what, four stops? Extremely chill. It also runs on the same track in both directions, which is queer. The S comes and goes when it damn well pleases, and you wait for it, even knowing you’ll only ride it for about a mile, because it is the most enjoyable subway experience there is to be had in all of New York. It’s entirely aboveground, are you kidding me?! — Katie Heaney, senior health writer
The 1/2/3 is far too consistent to have BDE. Okay, it wasn’t running on weekends to Brooklyn, but that only strengthens my case. — Emilia Petrarca, fashion news writer and lifelong 1/2/3 passenger
G: It oozes BDE
Since moving to NYC, I’ve lived in four different apartments in four different neighborhoods, all of which were off the G. Which is to say, I know that reliable bad boy — I honestly can’t remember what it’s like to not live in its Big-Dick aura. While the G is frequently (and wrongly) maligned, it’s only because it comes and goes on its own time. Classic BDE behavior. — Amanda Arnold, staff writer
4/5/6: MDE, which is fine!
The 4/5/6 has solidly MDE. Last year they were ranked as having the worst delays, but in my 11 months of experience with them, they’ve been generally dependable-ish, and I can get a seat like 60 percent of the time, so they’re fine. Just fine. MDE. — Madeleine Aggeler, staff writer
A/C: Only when it’s really feeling itself
I have lived off the A/C line for the past several years, and I can tell you with certainty: It usually does not have big dick energy. The line is notoriously unreliable, loves to break down, and relies on the oldest trains in continuous daily operation in the world. That said, on the rare occasion the A or C arrives as soon as I get to the platform, that specific train has BDE for sure. It teeters up with that classic BDE swagger (probably because it’s old) like an unpredictable bad boy who knows you’re ready and waiting, opens up, and takes me where I need to go. If that’s not big dick energy, I don’t know what is. — Lisa Ryan, senior writer