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Tomorrow, Mercury enters Cancer, then on Wednesday, Venus enters proud Leo. Wednesday also brings this month’s Gemini new moon. This moon is an open door, and a new beginning. You might not know right away where this door leads, but you can step through it anyway, with curiosity and an open heart.
You might be followed by thoughts of the past this week; you might be visited by visions of mistakes you’ve made before, rising in your mind like mountains out of the fog. When these thoughts visit you, don’t try to swat them away. They’re too big for that, too heavy — and they bear you no ill will. What feels like regret might be something else entirely. Maybe it’s just a reminder to slow down. Maybe it’s just a reminder to keep noticing the world.
The challenge this week is to reject the voice inside you that says you have to build your own whole world, from the ground up to the sky. You don’t have to populate your own cities, or your own seas. There’s already a world here to live in, a whole wild history of other people. Don’t reject its influence, or its gifts. Don’t feel guilty for taking what the world offers you, about using what you’ve been given. From here, you can stretch your legs, you can sing, you can rise to meet the day.
This week could be the time to make a leap of logic, a leap of faith. Other people might tell you that you have to take the long route, that you have to show all your work down to the final detail. Sometimes that’s true, but for now, a wild leap can jump-start a brain that feels foggy; it can breathe life back into a body that feels heavy and stuck. You don’t have to follow all the detailed instructions, and you don’t have to climb the ladder. What would happen if you just went for what you really wanted?
This week, if you can just continue to do the work you’ve been doing, it might feel easier than before — the road might become smoother, the street noise less distracting, the air easier to breathe. Everything’s been feeling difficult, maybe, but that doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong track. If you can just keep going, you’ll come to a clearing, you’ll come to a lookout point where you can see the green landscape below. You’ll come to a place where you can rest, and drink cool water, and remember yourself, then carry on.
Sometimes it’s painful to live in a body, and sometimes it’s just painful to live in a world so full of rules and noise and other people. What would happen, this week, if you went against your better judgment? What would happen if you gave yourself fully to desire, or to compassion, or to courage? This isn’t about acting in ways that will bring harm to you, or ways you know are wrong. It’s just about letting some softness back into your life.
This week, your thoughts might feel too full and alive to manage: your days might be full of drama and action, or your eyes might be full of color, or your head might be full of rhythm and dreams. The task is to keep your balance in the middle of so much. Don’t expect yourself to put together a theory to explain the whole universe. It’s still for you to decide: What will you do with your senses when they’re as sharp as this?
There is green life in the world that doesn’t know or need you. There is green life in the world that isn’t waiting for you to fail or succeed, that doesn’t want anything from you at all. Instead, it just keeps growing anyway, reaching up to the sun and down to the soil. This week, think about how freeing this is, just to be a person among people, a creature among creatures. To be as small, in the end, as anything else. This is a kind of power, too, a kind of wild freedom.
The days stretch long, and the evenings slide lazily into night, and you can let your muscles relax into evenings like this. Even when the daytime is hot and frantic, even when the afternoon feels never-endingly mundane, there’s still a space that is yours, a space that waits for you, filled with a secret silver magic. Even when your days feel unbearable, the evening will come, and the flowers will bloom in the dark.
You might feel disconnected from the world this week, like you’re floating in mid-air, alone. This doesn’t have to feel bad, or even lonely — sometimes there’s purpose here, sometimes there’s a courage stronger even than your body. Still, this week, remember to look to the connections. Remember the way your fate is tied up with others. There’s a vulnerability that comes with this kind of connection, a feeling of losing control. The task this week is to accept the vulnerability, to let it breathe somewhere quiet inside you.
This week, you’ll have the strength to change the story you tell about yourself, if you want. You’ll have the courage to change the words you know how to speak. You can unearth a new vocabulary for talking about yourself, and about your desires, and about the person you’re trying to become in this world. If you’ve been burning yourself out on sadness or doubt, it’s possible to find a different way to live.
This week will bring you a new kind of softness — a love that feels hazy and unfocused, a love that feels gentle, a series of moments that make you believe the world could really, finally give you what you need. There’s a terror, sometimes, that comes with wanting anything at all from the world — a terror in letting the world open you up in this way. But this week, you’ll be brave enough to face your own longing, and to speak of it with softness.
This is a week to open your windows and let the breeze fill your house, to turn on the radio and listen to whatever comes out, to ask a question whose answer you don’t know, and couldn’t find out on your own. Your boundaries might feel a little porous this week, a little hazy, and that’s okay. Some weeks it’s just harder to keep yourself separate from the world, harder to keep the world outside yourself.
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