totally soaked

18 Women on the Very Specific Things That Make Them Horny

Totally Soaked: a week dedicated to summer horniness.

If you want to understand the rich and varied tapestry that is human sexuality, try asking a woman to name an idiosyncratic thing that turns her on. To kick off Totally Soaked, a weeklong celebration of summer horniness, the Cut did just that — and here are 18 answers, ranging from smells to TV shows to a few that, well, kind of defy categorization. Every horny person is horny in their own way.

“When they can handle a car in inclement weather. I get so aroused when I’m a passenger in or witness to someone confidently maneuvering a car through snow or a bad thunderstorm, especially if they take the lead on getting the car out, like on ice, or they step up to drive when no one else will. I can literally hear my ovaries screaming at me that this person could provide for a family; it’s ridiculous.”

“The BBC show The Great British Sewing Bee, sister to The Great British Bake Off. It’s something about all the tape measures and pins and scissors that sends my mind that way, like it’s a fetish. And when gorgeous judge Patrick Grant runs his fingers up a dress seam in a critical way like it totally displeases him.”

“Going to the dentist. My current dentist is very attractive, physically fit, warm, and he actually listens (unlike the other men in my life), so that has something to do with it, but I’ve always loved going to the dentist. Specifically, I realized years ago that I loved a latex gloved hand, especially in my mouth. There’s also always a lot of saliva and spitting involved, which is a bit erotic. When you are in the chair, they are physically close, even when they aren’t examining you. I think that I also connect pleasure with pain a bit, and it’s the apprehension of pain that is exciting — it doesn’t always hurt at the dentist, but I don’t mind when it does.”

“Girls with a lisp. Instantly makes me want to kiss them!”

“Men’s thumbs. My first memory of being turned on by thumbs was watching Matthew McConaughey in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days — they just look manly, and he set the baseline for how thumbs should look in my eyes. I always check out hands/thumbs and not a lot of guys pass the test, or they are ten times hotter if they have nice thumbs. My ex-boyfriend’s thumbs were short and not attractive, and I honestly had a hard time looking past it.”

“I got my first manicure when I was 14. When the beautician tending to my nails graduated to massaging my hands, my vagina flipped, as though my hands had hidden inside of them some orgasmic button. I’ve enjoyed having my hands massaged ever since, mostly outside of the nail parlor.”

“A big nose. Like, Adrien Brody big. I remember sitting around with friends one day and we were talking about having a ‘type’ — all of the guys I’ve dated have had different body types and looks, but I was always attracted to something specific about their faces, and I realized they all had big, distinguished noses. I thought they gave their faces character, made them more unique. And for some reason, I think a bigger nose is manly? I’m not into dudes who look like ’90s Brad Pitt, I’m into dudes who look like ’90s Jeff Goldblum. Or 2018 Jeff Goldblum.”

“Watching my boyfriend eat edamame turns me on. There’s just something about him sucking the salt off of every pod that makes me horny.”

“I find women with short hair the sexiest thing in the world. It’s something about the courage it takes to rock it and the statement it makes that makes me go weak.”

“When guys do that thing where they hop up to hit something that’s high enough to be out of reach but not too high, whether it’s a subway sign or a particularly low-hanging awning, I get weak in the knees like I’m 15 again. The most upsetting part is that it doesn’t matter who does it. I tend to go for guys that look like they’re about to succumb to some sort of wasting disease, but if the most Jersey Shore–looking frat boy jumps up to slap some sort of overhang, I’m all there.”

“Libraries. I don’t know if is the silence, the smell of books, or the rules, but I’m instantly turned on once I set foot in one.”

“Boys with painted nails. There’s definitely one boy in mind who I had a major crush on in college who painted his nails. He was older than me, a bartender, and also kind of the leader of the local experimental music scene. So I think I associated painted nails with the sexiness I associated with him and his music, but more broadly, I associate painted nails with creative weirdos, often musicians who don’t give a fuck and would lead you into a grungy bathroom stall at a punk venue and push you up against the wall to make out. (It’s very important that the painted nails are chipped — I hate when my own painted nails are chipped, but I would hate if the guy’s were perfectly manicured.). In general, it’s a turn-on to me to be with someone who seems to not care about society’s perceptions of what men should be like. Also, men with painted nails just exude some sort of alternative confidence.”

“I love watching people dress for work, but not because of the intermittent partial nudity. There is something sexy about the determination of a sleepy human stepping into their morning routine.”

“Sometimes the way a man clears his throat reminds me of … sex noises. I realized it in high school or college and used to distract myself in class imagining what it was like hooking up with the guy who just coughed a little.”

“Watching Parks and Rec, specifically for scenes featuring Ron Swanson. Everything about that sour bastard makes me need to take a cold shower. All my friends tease me about it because there was a time I couldn’t even watch the show, because it was too intense. I don’t know what it is, exactly. Maybe because he’s so different from people I actually date in terms of personality. I was also absolutely in love with Bob Vila the home-improvement guy when I was a little kid, and I think that’s extended to Ron Swanson — the woodworking and the whiskey and the manly character. I’m in a long-distance relationship, and there have been times when things get a little pent-up, and so I watch Parks and Rec.

“I’m Canadian, and nothing gets me going more than a real American accent. Bonus points if it’s Southern.”

“I work in a restaurant and the servers had a competition to see who could hold the most plates. It was a one-time game that we all put together to help the time pass, initially supposed to be for fun and not at all serious — until, that is, we saw our co-worker completely kill it, carrying more plates than anyone could have ever imagined. He could hold seven on one arm, 14 all together. It was sexy both because it was a shock that he could carry so many plates, and also because he schooled the shit out of all of us. Now I can’t stop staring at him and find every excuse I can to talk to him.”

“Listening to my boyfriend list ingredients in tacos.”

18 Women on the Very Specific Things That Make Them Horny