goop shade

Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Know What the Cut Is

Gwyneth Paltrow.
Gwyneth Paltrow.

On Wednesday, the New York Times magazine published a profile of Iron Man star Gwyneth Paltrow, written by the inimitable Taffy Brodesser-Akner. The profile not only provides new insight into Paltrow’s wellness business Goop, but also contains a particularly interesting quote:

Bloggers at New York magazine’s The Cut regularly mock Goop’s gift guides (to which G.P. said, “I don’t know what The Cut is”).

We decided to look into what else Paltrow says she knows or doesn’t know, utilizing the Cut’s extensive coverage of Goop (including an exclusive on its first magazine cover) and our interviews with Paltrow herself as reference.

Here, a list of other things she (through statements and her brand) claims to know and not know.

What Gwyneth Paltrow Claims to Know:

• The importance of filling your butt with coffee
Billy Joel’s full name (“William” Joel)
• How to put a jade egg in a vagina
• How to cure depression by walking barefoot outside
• How to get stung by bees
• How to piss off NASA
• The best vibrators that cost more than a year’s tuition at an in-state college
• Which yacht rental service you should use
Conspiracy theories
• How to go on a cleanse for seven weeks and not die
• How to fix divorce
• How to find horrible things “exciting”
• Why murder is great
• How to steam a vagina like broccoli
• About sex

What Gwyneth Paltrow Claims to Not Know:

• The Cut
What she’s talking about

Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Know What the Cut Is